Seasons of Spiritual Warfare
I used to be astronomically fearful at the mention of spiritual warfare, the devil, and demons. But God has worked tirelessly to help me conquer my fear. Though I would like to say, this does not mean the fear doesn’t return. Fear will still exist in this broken world and in my imperfect flesh. I await the day when Christ returns to establish His Kingdom and glorify me to know no fear. As I wait, God deserves all the praises for providing me with the means necessary to conquer the fear. God's revealed different devices to equip me in each of my spiritual warfare experiences throughout the past 12 years. Scripture, prayer, the Gospel of Jesus, and the saints are the devices (through the Holy Spirit) that have been crucial when the battles arise.
Earlier this year, I was engaged with spiritual warfare at night for a couple of weeks. I couldn't understand why I was going through the horrendous experience again after previously battling 6+ months of spiritual warfare in 2018. Nevertheless, God in His sovereign plan provided a way for me to conquer the battle by appointing a saint to me at the right time. The saint, Pastor McYoung Yang, unbeknownst to him, counseled and encouraged me as we were recording a vodcast regarding “Spiritual Warfare and The Necessity of the Church”. After an insightful discussion with McYoung, it became clear as to why I was in constant battle for that time being. The devil attacks because of two primary reasons. The first, there is sin present thus the devil accuses. The second, God is working in your life and/or you are pursuing His call, hence the devil will be in opposition and oppose you. I was made to reflect on which one reason was the cause of my spiritual warfare. It became evident that the devil was opposing me in order to prevent me from pursuing God and His calling. You see, my passion for God had increased tremendously as a result of my working towards a Masters in Theological Studies, Biblical Counseling. The devil made it clear to me that he is in opposition to what God was doing in my spiritual life and calling me to.
Every night for a couple weeks, I heard the devil taunt my faith in God. The temptation to give in and turn to other devices of aid other than God danced across my mind. Thoughts of wickedness and doubt sought to overcome me. “You are not truly saved”, “I have power over you”, “Did God really say He would be your shelter?”, “Did He really defeat death?”, “Who are you that He would even choose to protect you?”. It was as if the scene of Eve and the serpent in the Garden of Eden was replaying itself in the darkness of the night. But glory to God that "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5). This Truth was a candle of hope because, “hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:5) I cannot stress enough how comforting this Truth was to me!
In the midst of the battle, the voice of the Holy Spirit safeguarded and carried me through with Scripture. I was reminded "to not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell" (Matthew 10:28). He guided me into passages/verses in Scripture I thought I had forgotten. His Word gave me life in the dead of night. While peace overcame my faint heart in these moments, I was reminded that God’s Word does not return empty (Isaiah 55:11).
The Holy Spirit also ushered me to preach the Gospel of Jesus to myself. His life, death, and resurrection secures my adoption as God's child. Though the devil told me I was no longer a child of God, the cross reminded me that "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20). The Gospel reassures who I am in God by the reminder of my baptism, and what God was/is doing in my life. This concrete assurance conquered the opposing thoughts of the devil. Not only did he guide me into Scripture and the Gospel, but also in prayer. Prayer became constant every waking moment. For who else can I go to for refuge when my heart is faint? He alone can rescue because He alone ultimately conquered the battle against Satan.
"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy" (Psalm 61:1-3).
Aside from the Holy Spirit, God so graciously continued (and still continues) to bless me with provisions of saints to encourage, pray, and bear the battle with me. I felt my sister saints’ prayers as the war raged throughout the nights. In addition to the prayers, my mentor reminded me of the powerful Truth Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand" (John 10:27-28). Although I knew this passage, I was deeply comforted that I was indeed His sheep. It was Jesus's voice that I heard through the Holy Spirit as He carried me in the miserable nights. It's a beautiful mystery, to say the least, how such an "ABC'' Truth can bring a rush of hope so quickly into a seemingly hopeless night. The power of His Word never ceases to amaze me in and out of warfare.
As I reminisce about the battles I've fought over the past 12 years, I see how God sanctified me in the process. He has produced faith that's been so rewarding. Now that I've experienced giving birth, I see why the analogies of birth pains are used throughout Scripture. Every time I go through spiritual warfare, it is spiritually agonizing and painful. It is every bit as excruciating as the descriptions I gave in my postpartum blog. Yet, the product of the trials are well worth the birth pains. Similar to the love and joy I feel as I behold my dear Hezekiah, when I take a step back and survey the product of sanctification through my battles—I behold God's gracious work in my life. I see even more clearly the words of James come into my reality, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)
I wish I could tell you all that, as believers, we will only experience the fiery darts of Satan once in our race towards God’s eternal Kingdom. But that is far from the truth. Satan is a prowling lion who will not give up until he’s devoured all of God’s sheep before Jesus returns to throw him into the lake of fire. He will always seek the opportunity to accuse and oppose of God’s children. Thank God that we are not alone in our spiritual battles—for He is the good Shepherd who will not allow us to be snatched out of His hands. We, as believers, can be confident in knowing that "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13) God's equipped us with devices we can freely use through the Holy Spirit. Brothers and sisters, seek out the saints to bear the battle with you, go to God in prayer, receive Scripture from the Holy Spirit, and preach the Gospel to yourself as you fight the good fight. Even when your hands go numb in the seemingly never-ending battle, cling onto the rope that God has thrown down in Jesus Christ.
I know in these seasons of spiritual warfare, we often ask God to remove the thorn from our flesh. We lay awake at night in fear of what fiery darts will come next as though we are at the scene of Jesus’s prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. But saints, I say this to encourage you and myself, “nevertheless not my will, but the Father’s will be done…for His power is made perfect in our weakness” (Luke 22:42; 2 Corinthians 12:9). I hold onto the knowledge that God has ultimately conquered Satan; His victory safeguards the confidence that we are able to have when we go to Him in our battles. I know there will be many more seasons of Spiritual Warfare in my lifetime—but in light of my most recent battle—"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety" (Psalm 4:8). May we lay awake in peace, knowing that Christ will come again to finish the battle once and for all.
CY